• Vicky is in trouble with her teacher for not handing in her essay.
• Sebastian is jealous of the new Treasury aide.
• Emily Howard goes to a pub.
• Andy insists Lou takes him to the opera.
• Children of Kelsey Grammer School take it in turns to read a novel.
• Gary introduces Jason to his family.
• The pianist wonders if he's still got the plastic bag he brought with him.
• Kenny Craig takes a date to a Chinese restaurant.
• Jeremy Rent has a part for Dennis Waterman in a play of Macbeth.
• At Fat Fighters the buzz word for the day is 'Cravings'!
• Ray McCooney is asked how he makes his soup.
• Lou takes Andy to the swimming pool.
• Daffyd Thomas' 'only gay' title is challenged by Old Ma Evans' new lodger.
• Vicky's done her essay.
• Two Minstrels, listen to anti-minstrel politician.
• World Record Attempt - Most Beans in a Bath.
• Daffyd realises his exclusive copy of the Gay Times has been sold and demands to know who too.
• Lou is taking Andy out for dinner. Andy wants to go dressed as a Smurf, against Lou's better judgement.
• Vicky is accused of pushing a young girl into a swimming pool.
• At Kelsey Grammer school the boys are preparing to take a test.
• Dr Lawrence is in his office informing an inspector how the Steven Spielberg institute is run.
• Sebastian walks in while the PM is changing and pounces on him, claiming there's a sniper at the window.
• Back at the institute Dr Lawrence is showing the inspector how Anne likes to look after the garden.
• Back at Kelsey Grammer School the test continues while the teacher does a bit of vacuuming.
• Lou is installing handle bars next to Andy's toilet so he can pull himself onto it when Lou isn't there.
• Dame Sally Markham finishes 'The Lady in White' but it's only seventy-six pages long.
• David Soul is asked to visit a sick child in hospital.
• Marjorie defends Fat Fighters against an 'anonymous' tip off that the whole thing is just a scam.
• Dr. Lawrence continues his tour in the canteen where Ann is doing her best to ruin their meals.
• Jason performs the Heimlich manoeuvre on Gary's Nan... or at least we think that's what it was.
• Back at school, the pupils battle through their test as the teacher sets off three fireworks in the classroom.
• Clive is hoping his wife Liz will be quiet about her past claim to fame while they're at a restauant.
• Les McKeown performs some songs for the sick child and her parents.
• A retired police officer starts teaching driving lessons while still wearing his uniform.
• The record attempters are attempting the world record for tallest man.
• Sebastian reviews the PMs bad press after a recent bi-election.
• Vicky's in a pub trying to buy alcoholic drinks for herself and her mates.
• Lou's taken Andy to the seaside and is trying to buy him an ice cream.
• At Kelsey Grammer school a pupil called 'Thorpe' has been moved down a year.
• Kenny Craig is playing Scrabble with his Mum at the hospital.
• The two Black-and-White Minstrels are trying to find accomadation.
• After an informative debate about the fat content of dust, Marjorie introduces the group to her sister Barbara.
• Back at Kelsey Grammer, there's new addition to the class. from the seventeenth century.
• The Pianist stops his performance to check the time Sainsbury's supermarket shuts.
• Daffyd's bored as he believes there's no social activities for gay people. Myfanwy proves him wrong.
• Lou takes Andy to the video shop.
• Emily Howard is renting out a room.
• Sir Bernard Chumley greets an aspiring young actor - Joe.
• Ray McCooney has a very satisfied customer... well he was.
• Kelsey Grammer school has another new boy... here boy! Fetch!
• Dame Sally tries to finish off a book by extending words of quotes by several letters.
• Denver Mills has been booked to promote Hug-a-Leper week.
• World Record Attempters attempt to eat the most hard boiled eggs.
• Daffyd goes to get a hair cut but his usual Hair Dresser is off.
• Emily Florence is having an X-Ray.
• Lou is about to take Andy home from the pub, Andy insists that he doesn't need to go to the toilet first.
• Dr Lawrence shows, Dr Beagrie how Anne fits perfectly into the job of Librarian.
• Vicky Pollard's in court charged with shoplifting.
• Matthew Waterhouse has a multitude of ideas for a kiss-a-gram agency.
• At Kelsey Grammer school, the teacher asks the pupils some hard maths/history questions.
• Sandra Patterson enters her son Ralph into an audition for a commercial.
• Back at the library, Anne 'processes' a book.
• Des Kaye is stopped from selling his videos and attacking a customer with a crocodile puppet.
• Anne's finished her shift at the library.
• Royal correspondant Peter Andre is sacked from the BBC.
• Lou offers Andy a chocolate.
• At the opera, a man suffers a heart attack. Luckily April and Neville are on hand.
• Ray has some rather fussy American tourists, who keep asking questions, not a good idea when Ray McCooney's concerned.
• Miss Grace is shocked that Dame Sally is actually dictating a story that could actually sell.
• Dennis Waterman seems to have gotten over his 'Write the theme tune, sing the theme tune' stage and actually signs a contract.
• Liz is pushed out of the lime light by a stranger who claims he went to school with Paul McCartney.
• The world record attempters are attempting the most cigarettes smoked at once.
• Vicky Pollard is summoned to the governess' office for biting Jackie Hayes.
• Andy insists Lou buys him a snake.
• The Prime Minister holds a politcal press conference with some unusual people.
• Marjorie expresses her views on liposuction.
• Samantha asks Edward how much he loves her... and gets a very detailed answer.
• At Kelsey Grammer School a young boy has an interview with a new Robot careers advisor.
• Lou takes Andy to the Library.
• As things start to look romantic, Edward asks Samantha to draw the curtains...
• Bernard gets meals on wheels for sister Kitty.
• Peter Andre tries to sneak into a royal garden party.
• Kenny Craig sells videos at a car boot sale.
• Matthew Waterhouse tries to impress a leading theatrical producer
• Daffyd visits the Llandewi Breffi Sexual Health Clinic.
• Denver Mills stands in for Fatima Whitbread at a school.
• Lou takes Andy up many hospital stairs.
• Eilene is comforting her bereaved sister Janet.
• At DIY universe, The new boy Kieran unwittingly asks Des Kaye about the Bubble Twins.
• World Record Attempt for a House of Cards.
• The Prime Minister is having a meeting with the Chancellor of the Exchequer.
• ITV have want Dennis Waterman to reprise all his roles from Minder.
• In Darkly Noone, Dr Alban diagnoses Vicky as being eight months pregnant.
• At the Annual Police Federation Dinner, Denver Mills has been booked to give an after-dinner speech.
• Lou's taken Andy to the newsagent to pick out a birthday card for his brother Declan.
• Marjorie bumps into Paul and Meera at the supermarket.
• Ray's got the TV Repair man in and tries to give the most crpyitcal explanation of what happened.
• Dr Lawrence has taken Anne home with him.
• Des Kaye bumps into his former boss Robin Dee and Dicky Bubble.
• Lou and Andy look at holiday destinations, Andy insists he wants to go to Helsinki.
• At Kelsey Grammer school, Mr Cleeves reads out some messages.
• Sandra and Ralph Patterson break into the offices of the Royal Shakespeare company.
• Back at Dr Lawrence's home Anne has some creative uses for egg and tuna sandwiches.
• The pianist stops playing when he realises he's forgotten to set his video recorder to tape Room 101.
• Dame Sally adlibs a plot involving a character reciting the entire Bible.
• Matthew Waterhouse gatecrashes a board room meeting with a trolley full of ideas for breakfast cereals.
• It's Maria's funeral, Lou's being as gentle as he can with Andy.
• In a charity shop a lady is asking the store owners if anyone died in various items of colthing.
• Dr Lawrence and the children are playing outside and Anne's busy throwing objects out of an upstairs window.
• Emily Howard's at the seaside having a hard time convincing various people he's a lady.
• The World Record Attempters exhibit the world's smallest ant.
• Vicky Pollard gets a visit from a social worker.
• At Fat Fighters Marjorie and Paul try to forget the night before.
• Lou paints Andy's bedroom red.
• Daffyd's gay night is a success.
• Sir Bernard's sister kitty is dead, well maybe.
• New term at Kelsy Grammar school.
• Ralph Patterson auditions for Bugsy Malone.
• PM and Sebastian discuss the Party Conference speech.
• Jason and Gary visit Gary's Nan, there is then toe sucking.
• World record attempters make largest mince pie.
• Emily Howard helps to fix an ice cream van.
• Daffyd discovers Myfanwy's Lesbonic secret.
• Vicky Pollard gives a speech to her ex-school mates.
• Lou and Andy have a bonfire.
• Boris babysits.
• Kelsey Grammer School have a crips exam.
• At Ye Olde Hotel Ray's tax payments are overdue.
• Dame Sally gets to Miss Grace type the Radio.
• At Fat Fighters, Mrs Harrison from Head Office attends and Marjorie is sacked.
• Concert pianist stops to read a text message.
• Michael meets the Italian Prime Minister.
• World Record Attempters go for Most people in a Mini.